When I discovered a very thick area in my breast I called the doctor. The next day I was in her office. A half hour after that I was in the diagnostic radiologist's.
A full afternoon and multiple stab wounds later we had a variety of samples of malignant tentacles of tissue that were on their way to the lab.
I was in a little pain - it would increase as the local anesthetic wore off - but left his office with a soft cold pack in my bra.
To keep bleeding down & relieve pain I'd need to keep things cool. Traditional ice packs are hard and heavy. As much as I try to be a good sport I'm not into having a brick sitting on my chest.
Enter a bag of frozen peas.
I tucked it in my bra, took a picture, and was ready to tell the story later that night. That bag of peas added a touch of lightness to what could have been a sad and serious tale.
- A bag of peas was something everybody could relate to.
- Some people love them, some hate them, some use them for their own injuries.
- A bag of frozen peas was a vehicle for conversation and let people tease me instead of having to cry.
- It let people share instead of bemoaning.
I napped a lot during the first few days after the biopsy. The news was sudden and stunning after all and my body was being assaulted.
Mmmm peas for lunch?
When I fell asleep with peas in my cleavage I'd wake to the smell of freshly cooked peas. That made the story funnier, and more human. Of course I shared it because what is life but a series of stories.
After enough cooked peas I moved on to baggies with ice cubes or larger gel-packs which truth be told still are too big and too heavy to be comfy but help with pain.
The peas however live on in the form of stories from others about their use of pea-packs and the line-up of twitter avatars sporting peas in support of my struggle.
This makes them a comfort in more than one way.
And even now that they have their own grown up page at frozen pea friday they're still a simple and easy to understand symbol of caring to me.
I've been so happy with all the people loading their "pea-vatars" to the Frozen Pea Friday Flickr group. Some of them are very creative -- and they're all full of love for you, Susan.
Posted by: Connie Reece | Dec 19, 2007 at 02:27 PM
Hi - I have been noticing the peas popping up on twitter and so i though I would check it out. Thanks for sharing your story, i am joining the pea brigade in honor of my mother who is a breast cancer survivor. Last year she was probably using a lot of bags of frozen peas. Actually, I don't know if she ever used frozen peas but i will ask her tonight as our family is getting together for some holiday festivities. PEAce and Blessings to you! By the way, I will be working on my peavatar!
Posted by: Jennifer Bradley | Dec 19, 2007 at 04:30 PM
Hi Susan, I've been subscribed to your Artsy Asylum blog for quite a while now and when your recent post mentioned your fight with cancer, I came right over here to offer my thoughts and prayers. I will be sending you lots of healing vibes...I may even throw in a bag of frozen peas now and then. ;) I am also very pleased to see that you already have a mountain of love and support from family and friends.
(((Hugs)))
Posted by: Serena | Dec 19, 2007 at 05:09 PM
Hi Susan - I found you by following the tweets! My mom is an eight year survivor...you are amazing to be sharing this with so many, I am humbled by your perspective and strength! I'll be sending lots of good energy and prayers your way. xoxox Alison
Posted by: AlisonL | Dec 19, 2007 at 09:30 PM
Susan - when the PEAvatars first showed up on my Twitter feed, I was clueless - and asked - and of course got many responses about you, about the PEAvatars, and links to your site.
Without this, I might've eventually crossed your path on Twitter, but with it, I've not only discovered you, but remembered that it's important to keep supporting the fight for a cure.
Thanks for showing such strength and humor in a tough situation - you're the kind of person who puts a great face on this kind of thing.
Hoping this becomes part of your "it all started with a bag of peas" survival and contributing to a cure story.
1001 hugs,
yndy
Posted by: yndygo | Dec 20, 2007 at 01:16 AM
I wish you all the best during your surgery, treatment, and all of the follow up. Thank you for sharing your story. I believe it truly helps others to know they're not alone in their fight.
(((((Susan Reynolds)))))
Posted by: DietTips | Dec 20, 2007 at 10:03 AM
yep, all the best and get well soon! And don't worry about the peas...
Posted by: Andy | Dec 20, 2007 at 10:17 AM
Thank you for sharing your story and yes..I'll join the pea brigade. If that sounds right :-)
Posted by: Melissa | Dec 20, 2007 at 03:47 PM
I'll never forget when a friend of mine, another survivor, arrived with a bag of frozen peas after my lumpectomy. I thought she was nuts, but it did feel better, I had to admit. They stayed in my fridge for a year, I couldn't bear to throw them away because in some weird way they were part of my cure. Then the fridge died and they melted into mush and I decided that it was time to move on. :)
My thoughts are with you and if there's anything you need from a fellow survivor, let me know.
Posted by: KD Paine | Dec 20, 2007 at 05:59 PM
What fun! Peas are wonderful and soothing, and perfect for post-biopsy.
Love your twitter supporters!
- Susan
Posted by: whymommy | Dec 20, 2007 at 06:14 PM
Susan....my heart is going out to you. I don't know you, but you have amazing friends. You have to be blessed to be receiving all the "good vibrations".
I personally have witnessed 2 miracles and my intuitive self senses that we have another one on the way.
Think only positive thoughts now, my dear and heal thyself.
OOOOOOOOOOO
Posted by: PATTI-with-an-i | Dec 20, 2007 at 09:34 PM
Susan, you remind me of Sylvie Fortin - in terms of your positive attitude towards taking a 'negative' and flipping it around into something so powerful and impactful.
Sylvie's site is here: http://www.breastcancervictory.com/
Maybe you both could connect. I'll be hoping and praying all goes well with your treatment too.
Oh, and I've changed my PEA-vatar on Twitter for the next 2 days... thanks Chris Brogan and CC Chapman!
All success
Dr.Mani
http://www.MoneyPowerWisdom.com
Posted by: Dr.Mani | Dec 20, 2007 at 10:03 PM
I just wanted to say good luck tomorrow, Susan. I said prayers for you. I know you're going to kick cancer's ass.
We will all be rooting for you and waiting for updates.
Posted by: patricia | Dec 21, 2007 at 01:59 AM
Susan, dear friend, we know you're going to be OK. You have the love, respect and friendship of the Twitter/socnet community with you, and that energy has the power to help you heal. You have created something beautiful here on your blog, and on Twitter, which is now going out around the world. When you recover, you now have a community with you, and think of the amazing steps we can all take together next, to do some incredibly wonderful things in the world. You're a PEAied PEAiper! Be well and feel us with you every step of the way.
Love, Cathryn/Creative Sage(tm)
Posted by: Cathryn Hrudicka | Dec 21, 2007 at 04:25 AM
Best of luck as you go through your procedure. I hope your recovery is speedy.
Posted by: Tracy Lee | Dec 21, 2007 at 03:00 PM
Susan, you are in my thoughts.
Posted by: David Armano | Dec 21, 2007 at 06:49 PM
Never give up Susan! I wish you all the best.
Posted by: Livia Iacolare | Dec 23, 2007 at 04:35 AM
I received this in my email this morning and I thought it was appropriate.
Life is a Bag of Frozen Peas
A few weeks after my first wife, Georgia, was called to heaven, I was cooking dinner for my son and myself. For a vegetable, I decided on frozen peas. As I was cutting open the bag, it slipped from my hands and crashed to the floor. The peas, like marbles, rolled everywhere. I tried to use a broom, but with each swipe the peas rolled across the kitchen, bounced off the wall on the other side and rolled in another direction.
My mental state at the time was fragile. Losing a spouse is an unbearable pain. I got on my hands and knees and pulled them into a pile to dispose of, I was half laughing and half crying as I collected them. I could see the humor in what happened, but it doesn't take much for a person dealing with grief to break down.
For the next week, every time I was in the kitchen, I would find a pea that had escaped my first cleanup. In a corner, behind a table leg, in the frays at the end of a mat, or hidden under a heater, they kept turning up. Eight months later I pulled out the refrigerator to clean, and found a dozen or so petrified peas hidden underneath.
At the time I found those few remaining peas, I was in a new relationship with a wonderful woman I met in a widow/widower support group. After we married, I was reminded of those peas under the refrigerator. I realized my life had been like that bag of frozen peas. It had shattered. My wife was gone. I was in a new city with a busy job and a son having trouble adjusting to his new surroundings and the loss of his mother. I was a wreck. I was a bag of spilled, frozen peas. My life had come apart and scattered.
When life gets you down; when everything you know comes apart; when you think you can never get through the tough times, remember, it is just a bag of scattered, frozen peas. The peas can be collected and life will move on. You will find all the peas. First the easy peas come together in a pile. You pick them up and start to move on. Later you will find the bigger and harder peas. When you pull it all together, life will be whole again.
The life you know can be scattered at any time. You will move on, but how fast you collect your peas depends on you. Will you keep scattering them around with a broom, or will you pick them up one-by-one and put your life back together?
Michael T. Smith
Posted by: Christopher Johnston | Dec 28, 2007 at 08:43 AM
I hope you are in good spirits, i know it can be over whelming but i pray you stay happy.
Posted by: Margaret | Dec 22, 2008 at 05:19 PM