Boobs On Ice™

Disease Happens

I found this amazing woman; Annie the Knitting Heretic who writes about my emotional life, as if she were living it. But she's not. But them again, she kind of is.

The details aren't the same. But the feelings? The fears. The hopes. Like me, Annie's husband Gerry has cancer, Multiple Myeloma in his case.  She stopped by my blog to comment one day and I then went to read hers. Am I glad I did.

She says:

"God, I get sick of explaining this.

'We are a society that is in denial.  When folks ask about Gerry and I explain the disease and the prognosis, the response is, "Don't believe the worst!  Have Hope!  Things can change!"  Lovely sentiments, but I believe they're being said more for the benefit of the cheerleader than for our benefit.

"I don't think we ARE believing the WORST. We're being realistic. Yes, things CAN change, and we both hope they do. Desperately.

"But hope is expensive. The energy and concentration it takes for us to make each day as rich and full as possible - to get everything out of life that we can - just about saps our resources. There isn't a lot left over for hope (false, or otherwise) so we just live realistically and - yes - hopefully. But we don't base our lives on hope . . .

". . The fact is, disease happens. Sometimes it shortens life. It sucks, and it's unfair, but it doesn't have to ruin - or even diminish - a life. We don't spend every day shopping for caskets, but we also have a realistic outlook on where our family will be in 3, 5, 7 years. No one can tell the future, but we can prepare."

Next time another cancer patient or a well wisher or some innocent schmuck who is just trying to be helpful tells me my problem is that 

1. my problem is not planning for another 20 years
2. I'm giving off negative energy or c
3. hiking, eating bark, and swimming in cold salt water will fix what ails me

I'm sending them over to talk to Annie whose own reality she blogs about here   along with her knitting / design career, her children, her plans to help fund some of their expenses and life in general.

Boy, am I glad I met Annie.

 

Quote: Sprinkles of Happiness

"Happiness is  not a constant state of being, but moments sprinkled throughout your days."

Kurt Vonegut

Quote: Emotional Healing

 

"On the emotional level, healing is to be able to accept all of our emotions without judgment and to express them properly to others."

Four Levels of Healing   Dr. Dan Johnston  Mercer Health Systems in Macon, Georgia

Quote: Connections Count

"A social connection for breast cancer survivors dramatically improves our quality of life and is shown to reduce recurrence."

Betty J. Borry Breast Cancer Retreats

We're Protected By Cool PEAs

When I read information that shows how much community and a sense of connectedness can decrease recurrence of cancer, I start to think of all those cute little pea avatars I see online every Friday. When I had my biopsies those cool little peas stuck in a baggie in my camisole all huddled together in my cleavage, conforming to the shape of my breast, protecting it and bringing me cool comfort.

Face it - there's an analogy here

Just like those comforting, calming frozen peas in my bodice, what the pea avatars have come to represent are hundreds of virtual strangers who have come together to help me keep my cool on my walk through the cancer maze. It's a beautiful thing

Over the weeks since that day in December 2007, I've discovered more and more amazing caring people in the virtual community who don their pea avatars on Fridays - and increasingly I glimpse them on other days too.

More than words or gestures

These people have nothing to gain, but they provide me and other patients with a sense of community, of virtual support, that is absolutely invaluable to us.

We may not be able to measure how long we stay cancer free because of the support of our all those cool frozen peas surrounding us in our communities. We may not be able to measure our love for those people who have never met us and still reach out in many ways to us every day of the week.

But I can point out that I recognize that they help in real, identifiable ways, every single day.

And I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

graphic representation of connections in online communities above from orgnet community where you can learn more about community

Pea avatars complements of the Frozen Pea Fund Flickr group

Uncertainty Stinks: Quote

"When you're in the midst of the diagnosis and staging process, and the tumor information is coming back in bits and pieces, at many different times, it is an extremely stressful time in your life.

Uncertainty really stinks! But you will feel SO much better once you know what you're dealing with, when your treatment plan has been worked out, and you start your treatment. Only then does much of that dreadful uncertainty lift, and you finally feel that you are doing something to get rid of the problem."

—Marisa Weiss MD

not so inspiring - just kinda true

"I'd love to say something deep and inspiring, but really if you lose your sense of humor YOUR FREAKIN' DOOMED"

Scott Schablow @sschablow on twitter

perhaps we don't realize

          "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

--Plato

the most important thing in life

"We go thru life thinking that the most important thing in life is to get that raise, make that sale, or win that account. You get cancer, and you realize that the most important thing in life is getting your health back, then it’s your friends and family that keep you healthy and strong."

Katie Paine

Quote: Risk Factors & Lifestyle Choices

""Bad" genes of the inherited variety are thought to account for fewer than 10 percent of breast cancers, and only 30 percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have any known risk factor (such as delaying childbearing or the late onset of menopause) at all. Bad lifestyle choices like a fatty diet have, after brief popularity with the medical profession, been largely ruled out."

Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Bait and Switch