Living our own "Last Lecture"

I don't usually post the same general content on two blogs, but this is an exceptional time and a cluster of very visible cancer deaths seem to be all around us. So the Boobs blog readers who don't always read the Artsy Asylum Blog may have missed what I passed on there.

I wanted to share it with all of the people who I have any reach to - because I believe it's such an important thing that I need to talk about.

Here's where I am. Since December 7th 2007 I'm in and out of hospitals and clinics and medical offices more than anyone wants to be. And maybe as a part of this or because it's just who I am, it's agonizingly difficult for me to see people with cancer deteriorate and die - even those I do not know, or know only slightly. One of these, Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor whose "last lecture" made him famous, died today almost a year after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

In the time leading up to his death Randy looked good, in contrast with Tony Snow's appearance in the months before he died earlier in July of colon cancer that had spread to first his liver and then elsewhere. Tony was gaunt and had aged twenty years in my eyes. My heart hurt to see him.

Then every weekday that Leroy Seivers of NPR writes his blog I get emotional again as I see evidence of a steady decline and that the always insightful and frank Leroy is near the end of his life, as he now weighs the pros and cons of hospice, and has a home health aide four times a week.

But as sadness envelops me, Randy Pausch simply bloomed! In the months before his death Randy was upbeat and seemed unfazed by what the rest of us are overwhelmed by.

And that gives us all something to consider.

When he gave this Carnegie Mellon commencement address in May, he had lived three months longer than the three to six months doctors had predicted, leading a friend to say he was “beating the Reaper.”

“We don’t beat the Reaper by living longer,” Pausch said. “We beat the Reaper by living well.”

My message in reflection:

• Please love others and live well while you can.
• Give generously of yourself and your spirit.
• Adopt a cause or two.
• Be present to what's happening around you and not distracted by the latest shiny thing of the blogosphere.

It's easy to be engaged by internet popularity, blog stats, being included in lists and invited to functions. Things are nice to own. But will that really matter when you face the end of the road?

Like Randy Paush who was only 47, or others we know who were suddenly stricken and died much earlier, we never know when an unexpected diagnosis - or a bus - will mark the end of our time here.

Let's make today even - simply this day - one that we'd be proud to call our last.

And then tomorrow let's get up and do it again.

And while you're doing it, just know that I love you all.

Comments

[Roxanne Darling]

Hello Darling Susan - A beautifully written piece and I am so grateful to the internets that people like you and Randy can share your grace with the rest of us - who do get so caught up in the shiny things.

Love and Aloha, Rox

[paisano]

Susan,
Thanks for such an important message and for being a daily reminder for us all to not get carried away with all of the silly high school aspects of social networking. We really must focus on each and every moment of this gift called life. It's never to be squandered...always cherished.
I loved how Randy finished his speech...kissing his bride and carrying her off stage. Wonderful.

As for you, I remember last winter when I read about some woman on something called twitter (I didn't use it then) had an entire community rallying behind her. Now I see why so many people love you. How can you not? :)

Thanks for such a sweet message. I named my personal blog Seizing the day because it's my own reminder to make the most out of life, not just day by day but moment by moment.

Your friend

Pai

[Deb]

Dear Susan,

I thought this afternoon that I had not heard a tweet from you recently, and missed you.

Logged on this evening to see this beautiful post of yours.

Thank you. It is a message that i can take to heart and try to live by every day. Those buses and medical surprises are coming to folks far too often now.

[Karen Swim]

Susan, I was so inspired by Randy and saddened by his loss. I am also extremely sensitive to those with cancer having lost a husband, brother in law and three friends to Cancer in one year. However, I also know from personal experience that while cancer sucks, focusing on life and treasuring each day as a gift makes those suffering from cancer (and families) often happier than families not touched by the disease. I miss my loved ones but am so thankful for the time I had with each. Each left me with a wonderful gift and that is to love, laugh and live well each day. Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

[Otenth Paderborn]

Thanks for cross-posting (as one of those who follow this blog's RSS, but not the other's).

I'll take the liberty of adding the list of things I learned from my friend Barbara, who lived just about nine months with diagnosed pancreatic cancer:

Celebrate something of beauty each day.
What is unfinished, and do I finish it or let it go?
What is really important to me? Put things in perspective.
Learn to take care of myself.
Make a difference in the world.
See what is.
Don't take unnecessary detours. (We're all on the same road. Near the end of her life, Barbara decided to decline more chemotherapy because she said it would just be a detour.)

[drt]

Hi Susan,

I was saddened with the sad news of Randy and Tony. Even with all the options they had in front of them, but as you said, we will never know "when are we going to be called home," and we could only waved a sad goodbye to them. Rest in Peace my dear friends.

As one with 3 of my family members died from sinus cancer and a sister with both breasts removed, I paid a lot of attention to cancer. I was also moved when I read Rina Fitria's story and I'm sure you noticed that. For those who doesn't know, please google it and you will know who Rina Fitria is. Now it seems like they have run out of all the options and I don't really know what are they going to do next. I'm really sad when reading Rina's journal and couldn't do any thing to help.

Last night someone sent me a link to google and I found this Chinese Chi-kung method that have helped some colon and prostate cancer patients fully recovered and I then posted in my Indonesian language blog http://28oktober.net . I remember from the videos that Dr. Angela Wang of San Jose had taught me this method 2, 3 years ago. But it didn't stick since I thought it was too easy and I hate any thing that is repetitive and too routine. However, after watching all the videos on this topic on youtube and listened to the cancer patients testimonials including one neuro-surgeon with colon cancer that disappeared after 3 months doing this chi-kung, I thought why shouldn't I give it a try?

One of the video has an English explanation from half way to the end, and I hope all the people that are interested with cancer's cure alternative method to take a look at this video: http://tw.youtube.com/watch?v=c80I01HKAvM
I'm in the process of translating some information available on the web to spread the words about this new techniques developed by the Chi-kung Master, Li Fengshan. As soon as I could translate the material on this method into Engrish :-) , I'll post it on my site. (Note: I knew nothing about chi-kung, but my chinese background give me a chance to understand the story in the videos as well as the info I could read on the web, and I just want to share this new way that was extracted from some Chinese Taichi and Shaolin chi-kung techniques to keep us healthy and keep the cancers away).

[KDPaine]

Oh Susan, you read my mind. I was just missing you and wondering what was going on. I just had a fascinating conversation with my ex-husband who very much is feeling the way I did a few years ago. He's unemployed, divorced and very confused and depressed. Not unlike the way I was alot BC (before cancer). Now, whenever I question why I live, its very much focused on the fact that I'm on this planet to do good, change lives, make a difference, and as long as I remember that, I feel like I can live forever. thank you for reminding me!