Boobs On Ice™

Message in a Bottle: Virtual Notes From Mom

Not being morbid, but I've done a lot of thinking - and some writing - about leaving something of myself behind no matter when it is that I die. I have cancer, let's face it. It turned out to be the invasive kind so it could appear in some new spot next year or in ten years, it's still worth thinking about if it's twenty years from now.

It would be worth thinking about if I were 30 and might get hit by a bus - or lightening - tomorrow too.

When the kids were little - mine are 22 to 37 now - I kept a jar with slips of paper in it on the dining room table & sometimes the kitchen table - sometimes even plastic easter eggs held strips of paper. I was heavily into paper.

At one time the jar had chores written on the strips, and sometimes there were surprises or rewards on the strips, but most often the jar held questions, ideas, seeds of thoughts. Often at dinner one or more of them would pull a strip of paper and talk about the question.

They were things like:

• What’s the most important thing you ever learned?
• What do you like about your toes?
• What was it like when was your grandfather was a little kid?

Funny or bonding or just designed to get them talking.

So a few years down the road - in this age of electronic everything -  there should be SOME way to get my kids a virtual version of short notes from the glass jar when they need one.  Adult kids and even grandchildren should be able to do something when they need to feel connected to me, that would get them a message - a little note - containing something I'd say to them if I were around.

You never ever know when they need one.

• Waiting in the ER for their kid's broken arm to get casted.
• After losing out on a dream job.

They just need mom - anything mom can say - not about the specific situation they face but just something she wrote for them.

Oh I could just start writing messages on slips of paper and sticking them in jars or boxes or someplace to be divided up later.. but that makes the container the symbol, not the message. So I don't want to do that.

Then comes the question of what to say.

Since I don’t know when they’ll need me, and it will have to be a system where they pull one out when needed - not one where I have something all ready for the day after their husband cheats on them - I think it would work if I could just keep the messages focused on memories of them, hopes for them, love for them, tossed in with some good old mom sayings that might make them cry or laugh or roll their eyes but will make me seem close by.

Maybe eerily so, but I hope not. Because I look at this as a project of love that could be done by anybody, at any time. I'd love to have little notes available from my grandmother to me, even now when I'm a grandmother!

But now's the time I need to call on technology. If we don’t have a magic dispenser dude to open a jar and hand the kidlets a slip of paper - and they are spread out over the US like my four - is there a virtual way to get them what we want them to have - and what they probably really need? . . I hope so.

I'll be looking for it. In fact I think it sounds like fun,

Breast Reconstruction Process: Halftime

If you've never heard much about breast reconstruction following mastectomy you may believe that  surgeons just remove cancerous breast tissue and replace it with a breast shaped form, sew up the skin, and you're good to go.

Not quite.

Clicking on this image will show an enlarged illustration of how the chest wall is stretched - in a series of  weekly or bi-weekly expansion procedures with the surgeon on an outpatient basis - to create a new pocket in which a breast form is placed in a second surgery.

I have one, perhaps two, more expansions before the pocket is large enough to accept the form. The last expansion will be followed by a couple weeks of rest for the chest wall. Then comes  surgery to remove the expander and replace it with the breast form. I am hoping to schedule surgery before the end of May.

So far I'm at four months and counting, though some of the feet dragging was absolutely my issue with decision making and needing reassurance. I admit it has been painful and I've had many doubts along the way.

Below is a video done after my visit with the surgeon a little over a week ago in which my chest muscle tissue was further stretched. It will hopefully give you a little more personal slant.

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Research Grants Study Tumors' Blood Supply & Protein

    Among the amazing people I've encountered on twitter is Ines Hegedus-Garcia, co-president of The Miami Shores Heidi Hewes Chapter of the Womans Cancer Association of The University of Miami.

@Ines has brought to my attention this small organization that does an outstanding job of involving the community and raising funds that go directly to cancer research.

Recently she sent a link to a list of the grants that they have made and although all worthwhile, one spoke to me because it talked in real terms about someone who wonders if answering one question could be the way to stop cancers like mine from growing,

Teresa Zimmers, PhD - Department of Surgery, Division of Surgical Oncology, Sylvester CCC has been awarded $50,000 towards her study focusing on the base fact that tumor growth and metastasis in many cancers depends upon the ability of the tumor to elicit a new blood supply.

Since a protein GDF-2 (or BMP-9) was absent in mice that have abnormalities in blood vessels development, this study will attempt to answer the question if administering this excess protein will inhibit tumor growth by restricting blood supply to established breast, Ovarian, and cervical cancer cells in lab mice

Sounds promising doesn't it? I'd love to be able to follow what happens. In the meantime kudos to Inez and the team that is doing the outstanding work funding this research.

Read more here

Who Knew You Could Help Do Cancer Therapy

Backed by a growing body of evidence, holistic cancer carer is being practiced in major medical centers from New York’s Memorial Sloan-Kettering to Houston’s M.D. Anderson hospital.

The value of complementary cancer care ranging from diet changes to herbs, acupuncture, massage and yoga is backed by renowned oncologists at the best university hospitals and cancer centers.

The Good News is The Bad News

For the estimated 41 percent of breast-cancer patients who try complementary approaches, it's hopeful news. And though most insurance covers almost all of our care, they do not cover complementary care.

They'll pay to run an IV of poison through our bodies and will provide a wig to cover the hair loss but the kind of caring treatment that will ease nausea, pain and increase energy isn't approved unless it comes in pill form.

So I'm going to my community - Can I Help Myself through You?

Though I'm not able to work much, I'm blessed to have some visibility. With a functional brain, I remain able to be productive for an hour or two most days.

My time can be spent working with individuals, solopreneurs and small time operators doing outreach using facebook, twitter, blogs etc in order to help reach and build Connections and Community.

For Second Life I can create an upgraded, non embarrassing (non-newbie looking) Second Life Avatar for you and help you attend some functions that will introduce you to either the business or social life of the Virtual World.

In the Art World - My art pieces have been published in national art magazines and exhibited in multiple galleries including the University of North Carolina. I'd gladly discuss this with you.

Commissioned works are always welcome. Mixed media constructions from matchbox sized to wall pieces of sofa size and specialized flat-stanleyesque art dolls ready for framing and projects are a special interest.

If you're interested in some unique pieces of wearable art that are also stunning when displayed in shadowbox frames, you might like those shown here. Special orders and color requests are welcome.

In short, If I've got a skill I can share with others. I will

So now although I'm far from able to commit to taking on full time service clients, it's time for me to share those skills I have. My goal is to conserve energy to heal while also covering the cost of :

• yoga,
• acupuncture
• cancer therapy massage
• hydrotherapy

Defraying the expense of some of the treatments that have been proven helpful for cancer patients but are uncovered by my insurance, plus providing some household and personal assistant help is my goal. Combined with a five year hormone treatment I'm hoping that over the course of the next year I'll improve.

My aim is to be well enough to devote more of my energies to outreach for the Frozen Pea Fund (a 501c3 Non Profit Corporation which raises money for cancer research and to set an example of openly talking about cancer from diagnosis)

Supporting the Body, Mind, and Spirit

integrative oncologist Donald Abrams, M.D., at the University of California, San Francisco’s  Center for Integrative Medicine, insists that acupuncture, massage, and other therapies—all administered by practitioners skilled in cancer care have a place in a plan designed to support a patient's  body, mind, and spirit . .  while having conventional cancer treatment.

“Modern Western medicine is all about expelling evil without concentrating on supporting good,” says Abrams. “I tell patients that I am supporting good.”

I want to Support Good as Well

If you feel as if you can support my effort to get to the point that I can do more please get in touch. I'd be glad to talk with you about it. And if you'd rather not go the consulting route and don't need help with your visibility, you might like one of the small art pieces described and shown here.

Let us know which piece you're interested in and my daughter Kate will send an invoice for me, get the piece signed the way you'd like, and carefully wrap and ship it for you.

A comment below, or a message to either Kate or me on twitter will get you a response and we can talk about what you need. And I appreciate any referrals you can send my way.

   

Ignatius on Responsibility and Prayer

"Pray as if everything depends on God, and work as if everything depends on you."

Saint Ignatius

The Birth of an Energy Surge

When I wrote in the artsy asylum blog how I thought today was the day my second grandchild would be born, I talked about the surge of energy I felt and how odd it was, that I hadn't felt it in many years. And I mean MANY years - long before I knew I can cancer, but of course I did have it all the while.

But not to be spooky or anything but this baby - and it really did happen very suddenly - is having some kind of effect on me only when her mother is actively having contractions.

We in the western world know a lot about a lot of things

But there are many things we are so behind on. One is energy and another is the human spirit.  I truly think that maybe - just maybe - something having to do with energy and the spirit is going on. I believe that NOW, as she gets ready to be born, this baby is giving me a glimpse of immortality, and an almost cellular memory of joy.

I don't feel better just because my focus is outside myself

More than one person has suggested that. And normally that would make sense. Except in my case my condition has deteriorated steadily over the years and it's only recently that I've even begun to admit it, capped off by my cancer diagnosis which was totally public.

Now health professionals both traditional and non-traditional insist that cancer syndrome is likely occurring in part because my body has been fighting off cancer for years without being diagnosed, and depleting every reserve I have. They say that to rebuild, to heal and to live, I must focus on myself and stop focusing on caring for, nurturing, fixing other people's problems and issues.

That focus inward is the hardest part

A good example happened recently. My acupuncturist mentioned her web presence and I immediately started talking about building a blog and how we could hold info meetings about acupressure and build her profile . .

She stopped me in my tracks, reminding me that she still can not feel ANY energy pulses that she should be feeling in me. Insisting that I did not have the extra energy to be expending it and that I was not rebuilding my energy focusing on her issues; I was taken to task. When pointed out I could see what I was doing.

Yes, I can share. In fact she'll support spending 20% of the energy I have on sharing with others - things like blogging to educate about cancer, explaining web 2.0, working for charities, helping those who would like to establish a Second Life presence etc - but says the other 80% of my energy needs to be spent letting my body rebuild itself.

It is the hardest thing I've ever done.

So if it's not a problem of being self-absorbed..

What about the whole baby Emma thing? I've done some reading today and find that very ill patients often are very energized by a baby. They ask nothing of you but simple care and love. They look to you as if you're the most interesting person on earth.

Many cultures teach that a baby brings a life force into a room - a home; into your life. And that the same quality of energy is impossible to achieve in any other way (puppies included). Babies don't allow one to flit around wasting focus, but encourage locking onto those eyes that peer into you in fascination.

Children are always miracles - I know that firsthand, four times over. But I did not expect this kind of energy to emanate from one in the process of being born twenty miles away.

In late morning the seeming boundless energy of 7AM began to fade and I took a nap; later to find out that labor had stalled about the same time.

Oh yes - there's something interesting happening here. Believe it or not.

Why a Soy Health Shake Is Not My Cup of Tea

What can be good for some of us can be bad for others with any breast cancer that thrives on estrogen? 

SOY!   Who knew. .  and how did this happen??

The scoop is that phytoestrogens are estrogen hormone-like chemicals found in plants.

Guess what . .  we eat them in food we think is healthy! OK it may be healthy for MOST of us . .  but I've got an oh so special tumor that just LOVES feeding on estrogen.

Surprise!

Dietary estrogen (phytoestrogen) can be found in lots of food products including herbs and oils. BUT but the level varies depending on the source.

The information on the list of plants high in Phytoestrogens was a surprise.

What I do with this next after I get over being surprised? I thought it was only fair to share it with you and tell you to check to see if your cancer - or the cancer of your friend or loved one - is estrogen receptor positive so you can make them aware of this potential added risk

I do know I'll avoid soy and flax seed and the rest of the biggies on the list. But it won't be too big a sacrifice not to add Tofu Burgers to my diet anytime soon.

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For more about estrogen-receptors and cancer see my entry How do Hormones Fight Breast Cancer

More on Plant Estrogens at:

Phytoestrogen and Its Food Sources

Take A Bite Out Of Cancer: Pomegranates Do The Nom Nom Nom

I eat ok, and my daughter Kate encourages me to be better, which I have been. I don't eat fried food generally and I'm not a big refined flour person. So I wasn't too interested when I learned that there is research going on at the National Institutes of Health and elsewhere about nutrition and specific cancers.

Yawn. I've got my blueberries, healthy cereal, and I'm trying to increase my protein for energy but beyond that I'm not at all obsessed with food.

At least that's how I felt until I found out that they and other researchers are studying compounds that eats breast cancer cells. 

Yes, you heard it - nom nom nom - imagine them chomping away. Pomegranates contain elagic acid - a substance that actually eat breast cancer cells.

Just imagining that is good for us!

Research indicates that it may be though oil from seed that does most of the work, but others feel that one can get the effects from eating the fruit or drinking the juice.

I'm not a pomegranate person but I'm interested enough to read more and keep an open mind.

.

Note: from cancer consultants:

Several other noteworthy examples of foods with phytochemicals proven to have anticancer properties include cranberries, avocados, and pomegranates...The phenol compounds alone block the action of tumor promoters, thus reducing the load on the immune system

Where and What is the Paradigm Shift Oncologists Expect in Understanding and Treating Cancer?

 

Dr. Larry Norton, Oncologist, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center / Dr. Lynn Schuchter, Oncologist, University of Pennsylvania Cancer Center / Carol Hochberg, SHARE / Dr. Dennis Slamon, Oncologist  Revlon  UCLA Womens' Cancer Research Program with interviewer Charlie Rose, discussing the paradigm shift in cancer discoveries and understanding that are occurring at that moment in labs around the world, and that they predicted would continue to bear significant fruit for the following 12 to 24 months - Interview from August 2007

Second half, interview about global communications with  Peter Chernin, President & Chief Operating Officer, News Corp.

 

 

Don't Wait To Start Living

"In sum, be present for what is in front of you. You ll enjoy it all more, and you ll be happier.

"These rules are all in the cancer patient playbook for surviving and thriving despite our diagnoses. Don't wait to get a terrible disease to start living like this."

Dove s Eye View: Basic rules for happiness.