It's Not Just About My Cancer

It's not just about my cancer. It's about other people's cancer. Leroy Sievers has cancer too and says

"After that day, your life is never the same. "That day" is the day the doctor tells you, "You have cancer." Every one of us knows someone who's had to face that news. It's scary, it's sad. But it's still life, and it's a life worth living.

Leroy Sievers has been a journalist for more than 25 years both at CBS News and at ABC News where he was the executive producer at Nightline. "My Cancer" is a daily account of his life and fight with cancer.

Sometimes I can't think about cancer any more but sometimes I want to understand every experience in some kind of odd fascination with understanding the process. It's at those moments  when I read Leroy's story through the My Cancer blog, or listen to his weekly podcast.

I honestly don't know if I'd be half the optimist Leory is if I walked in his shoes. But he gives me a role model.

Comments

[Marti]

I am glad to see you posting regularly, and pleased to hear about your progress. You know I love you and want only the best for you.

Thank you for being such a wonderful twitter buddy! I hope you and yours have a fabulous 2008!

[a random visitor]

Thank you for saying this. I am sincerely glad that you're doing well and in recovery.

My mother was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, but does not want the fact made public. So as much as I've wanted to talk about her disease, I am honoring her request and staying silent in public (or at least anonymous).

This leaves me feeling a little frustrated to see the tweets from well-meaning people saying things like "you're not a Cool Kid unless you're getting behind the Pea Fund". There are dozens, even hundreds of ways to support the fight against breast cancer. I am starting to resent the implication that just because I'm not following the social media herd then I'm not doing my part.

Thanks for taking the time out of your recovery to remind people that you're not the only one out there with cancer.

[tndaisy1960]

You are a role model for us, as Leroy is for you. I say that, not to pressure you in any way, more like a gentle push when/if you need one. I know that, if my daughter someday has to fight this battle, I'll be better equipped to help her because you're helping us, to help you. Thank you for that, for sharing the good and the bad. We'll be there for all of it, but you know this already.

"Friendship shares our joy and divides our grief".

[Susan Reynolds]

I don't want to be a role model - I'm too new at this and far too apt to fall apart at any time.

And I honestly can't say I'm doing that well. Lots of people would be at the mall. I'm in bed with ice packs and a fever.

But who wants to write about how disgusting it is when they are feeling their worst? So what often comes out when I'm feeling awful is something about someone else - or something philosophical. That's my way of hiding some of it.

Maybe I'll get better at this in the future. Right now it's just too raw.

[Zazzy]

Leroy's blog has been inspirational. He's one of those people I feel as if I know as I follow him along anonymously on his journey.

It's never been all about the cancer to me. It's about all of us and the strength we find inside when dealing with the very hard parts of life. It's good for me, when I get sucked into my own challenges, to remember that everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. (Plato)

Be gentle with yourself. You are fighting your own battle in the way that works best for you. Write what you want, when you want. The writing is for you. The rest of us just follow along.

[Charles]

Susan, you're doing just fine, most people don't choose to be a role model; it just happens. You're doing fabulously. You are an inspiration to others to be open and to talk about their diagnoses whether it's cancer, hepatitis, HIV, diabetes or any other of a thousand life changing diagnoses.

No one should resent the Peas campaign, it's something that happened as a result of you sharing your story, and it has raised some serious money for cancer research.

Susan, you keep being you, we'll keep being us, don't let the naysayers get to you.

*gentle hugs*

Charles

[Laura Fitton]

Susan Reynolds

[BadWolf]

@a random visitor

I can understand your point, but I don't think that's really what they mean if they say things like that. Rather, maybe it's more of an attempt at a light hearted way to get people who don't know about the fund more involved in breast cancer research.

I can also see how not saying anything would be frustrating for you, but you're not going to get stoned for not having a pea avatar or donating money.

Just because someone is involved doesn't make them better than you, but maybe you should vent elsewhere? It's a bit impolite, seeing as how Susan Reynolds didn't actually start the Frozen Pea fund, her friends did it to support her and Breast Cancer Research. It seems more that your frustration shouldn't be directed at a person who happens to be in the current spotlight.

There are many outlets, even if you can't speak of this issue to friends or family. Maybe some support communities where you can stay anonymous?

[Ontario Emperor]

I don't think that Random was directing his/her comments to the organizers of FPF.

It is certainly possible that some people have somehow equated the Frozen Pea Fund with coolness. I hate to disappoint them, but I have created a peavatar, an act that automatically renders the Frozen Pea Fund as uncool. And if you don't believe me, just ask my teenage daughter whether I'm cool or not. :)

[Jim Long]

Hi Susan!! I am SUCH a troublemaker!! (but you knew that) I fear i may be the source of this dust up. Yesterday I tweeted this, tongue FIRMLY in cheek:

newmediajim this is where all the cool kids are helping fight breast cancer http://frozenpeafund.com/ about 18 hours ago from web

I fear the irony of "cool kids" was lost on Random Visitor (who's anonymity I'll respect). I got a DM from her echoing her feelings above. Like Ontario Emperor, I bring a whole bunch of UNcool to the table! ;-) Sometimes folks just need to lighten up a bit I suspect. So, I apologize for being the source of negative vibes from Random, but you can smack me upside the head the next time you see me. ;-)

XO

Jim

[MaxWeb]

Many times, people confronting things beyond their control deal with it in one of two ways... we see examples of both here...

One, they do something constructive, supportive, loving to try and reach out and form community bonds.

or

Two, they lash out against others, against perceived insult, against frustration caused by their own feelings...

In any case, I certainly hope that Susan doesn't take that lashing out to heart and that 'Random Visitor' seeks some counseling somewhere, grief is a powerful force in our lives and should be discussed, not bottled up or spewed out upon the undeserving folks trying to make a difference.