I might be asking a little more of my friends for awhile. Mainly because in reality life is moving both very fast and very slow all at once.
On Wednesday afternoon I found a large lump in my breast. Don't wonder why it wasn't found earlier; we voluptuous gals don't notice lumps as soon as flatties, so cut me some slack here. I was flat-chested as they come until well after my second child but that was then and this is now. I've breastfed 4 babies so my boobs are not strangers to me.
I called my husband at work and one daughter who's had cycts (who was spending time with her brother who's visiting) ^ and told the youngest daughter before she left for work so she wouldn't hear it in whisper down the lane style. So they were in the loop. But before those things I called my doc's office and said I needed to see her SOON.
They suggested nine AM. I looked for a compromise, knowing I'd need to sleep late.
- At noon Thursday my friend Dr Z was taking a look at it with me and agreeing with my assessment : This was very very bad & very very sudden.
Within a half hour I was out of her office and in another that was somehow clearing out patients so I could spend some quality time with a radiology specialist who was equipped with scans and waves and a meat-thermometer looking thing followed by what can only be described as a drill.
This was an entire afternoon which I know because it was dark when we left their office well after five.
But I left out something important. After the waves but before the meat thermometer the radiology doc had called Doc Z to tell her that what she and I knew the minute we looked at each other.
- Even before what I'm describing as being stabbed in the boob my physical body had a firm diagnosis of a pretty scary mass of breast cancer.
The aftermath of stabbing, scalpeling, grabbing samples, looking at tissue that was clearly cancer is:
- I'm sitting around with packs of frozen peas on my chest,
makingwhile my husband takes care of all the follow ups with the radiologists, makes appointments for MRIs and plays phone tag with cancer surgeons.
- My next appointment is on Tuesday at the crack of dawn and they'll fit me in Monday if they have a cancellation.
- In the meantime, I'm exhausted and falling asleep at the drop of a hat. I'm distracted and distractable.
- And I'm willing to ask my son to extend leave a bit to stay with me through Tuesday - and to have nice things done for me, so apparently I'm not in denial.
I'm not going to be writing about this in the Second Life blog on any regular basis but thought I needed to include it to explain what's going on with me. You'll see references I'm sure.
You'll see me twittering updates (I'd be glad to have you follow me on twitter)
I'll also be writing about the connected life in general - and mine now involves cancer - at my normal everyday blog: Case Notes from the Artsy Asylum. Join me there - and here - for more.
I hope the story of my journey can reach beyond me to help others from day one. We start now.