Randy Pausch's Death and Our Own Last Lecture

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor whose "last lecture" made him famous died today, almost a year after he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer,

When he gave this Carnegie Mellon commencement address in May, he had lived three months longer than the three to six months doctors had predicted, leading a friend to say he was “beating the Reaper.”

“We don’t beat the Reaper by living longer,” Pausch said. “We beat the Reaper by living well.”

It's difficult - at least for me - to see people with cancer deteriorate and die - even those I do not know. Randy looked good in the video above, in contrast with Tony Snow's last appearance before he died earlier this month of colon cancer that had spread to first his liver and then elsewhere. Tony was gaunt and had aged twenty years in my eyes. Even NPR's always insightful and frank Leroy Seivers now considers the pros and cons of hospice, and has a home health aide four times a week.

But Randy was upbeat and seemed unfazed by what the rest of us are overwhelmed by. And that gives us all something to consider.

My message in reflection: Please love others and live well while you can. Give generously of yourself and your spirit. Adopt a cause or two. Be present to what's happening around you and not distracted by the latest shiny thing of the blogosphere.

It's easy to be engaged by internet popularity, blog stats, being included in lists and invited to functions. Things are nice to own. But will that really matter when you face the end of the road?

Like Randy Paush who was only 47, or others we know who were suddenly stricken and died much earlier, we never know when an unexpected diagnosis - or a bus - will mark the end of our time here.

Let's make today even - simply this day - one that we'd be proud to call our last.

And then tomorrow.

Comments

[Drew McLellan]

Susan,

One of life's truths that I find baffling is that we are reminded of life's frailty when someone like Randy or Tim Russert dies and we promise to live life at a new level. And maybe we do...for a bit.

But then life's distractions creeps back and pretty soon, we're back to our old habits.

But maybe if we make some minor shifts each time we're reminded...over time, we will eventually begin to truly do what matters, brush off what doesn't and love like we've never loved before.

Drew

I will forever remember this man for he has made a mark on me thanks to my English teacher from my sophomore year... She had us watch the last lecture on YouTube and it forever changed my life... I am inspired by this man who was not afraid of death, but simply understand his time was limited as all of ours is... It makes sense what he said and everyone who took the time to talk to him and know him or even just watch his lecture through YouTube is very blessed by his presence... I pray and give my condolences to Randy's family on this tremendous loss...

[Erica]

Right on, Susan. Absolutely right on. My mother's mother died of cancer when my mother was in college; my whole life I've grown up knowing just how important it is to live in the moment and truly value the present, even as we prepare for the future. I would have rathered having had my grandmother in my life and in my mother's young adulthood, but the lesson I had the opportunity to learn because of her has shaped how I define my own happiness. One of the things I remember learning as a child was that my grandmother had always wanted to travel in Europe, but hadn't had the opportunity. She'd thought she would travel in her retirement. I've made sure I get to do things that are important to me, like travel, and seeing people I love who live far away, even though it's meant making some other material sacrifices. I'm always asking myself, OK, what choices would I be making if I only had a year left? I'm not always as brave as I'd like to be in actually doing all of those things, but even the act of thinking about it helps to stay centered about what's important. It's a very bitter gift, but it's a deeply valuable one that those who become sick or who pass on too young give to those who love them.

[Tim (@Twalk) Walker]

Very nice. Annie Dillard once said something to the effect that we're ALL terminal patients, it's just that most of us don't know how long we have. Pausch and others like him get the highly ambivalent "gift" of knowing for certain when their time is short.

You're absolutely right: we should live each day such that "we'd be proud to call [it] our last."

[AlisonL]

What a lovely post, Susan. Randy has been a constant thought in the back of my mind since I saw his speech online...wouldn't it be wonderful if we could keep his lessons in the forefront of our every day life? When you focus on what is important, life is so much more rewarding...and so much easier.