I have never been this excited before, even for the birth of my own four kids. And, if truth be told - I wasn't this psyched about my first grandchild, though I love babies and I welcomed every single one of them.
I've been thinking a lot about what makes THIS one so special. What touches my heart so?
Maybe this baby represents life to me
Maybe she's a symbol. And maybe with her birth I get a new birth of life-force myself, I'm feeing something special that I can't explain - yet I don't know anything for sure.
We can never certain of anything. Granted, I have a terminal illness and have been told in black and white that I have a 20% chance of not living longer than ten years. If I'm alive in ten years it's still a 50 /.50 proposition that I'll have a recurrence of breast cancer. But today I feel alive and happy and looking forward in a whole new way.
You're my extended family
And at least for today, all I know for sure is that the signs are that a new little bit of life will arrive before the day is over and I need to share the news further than my neighbors. My friends online are more like an extended family than any other comparison I could make,
So of course you're the first people with whom I share something spooky; I'm having some kind of Lourdes-like feeling - an almost healing power of regeneration today. Endorphins, miracles; I'll take whatever's being handed out. Don't get excited - and don't expect it to last but all I can tell you is that there's something in the Force today. I think her name could be Emma.
Energy that I have not had maybe five years is surging through me and it's all I can do to keep sitting. So I have to occupy myself.
Otherwise there will be an overdraft of the energy bank later today and I won't have enough to show up at Fairfax Hospital where I plan to tell my daughter Kerry what a wonderful job she's done, then proceed to cuddle, goo and coo over, and generally make a fool over the bundle of joy that will be my precious little Emma Reynolds.
What's in a name?
Kerry kept the Reynolds name and that means something to me. Emma will have it as well and that's just as special. Maybe there's a lot more depth to the meanings here.
In any case, Wow. Let's get a move on it, Miss Emma. You're going to be a sight for Nana's sore eyes.
